The 3 Things You Need To Tell Yourself Daily

For years, I felt I didn’t deserve happiness because I didn’t like myself. I purposely sabotaged the good things in my life as self-punishment just for being me. I couldn’t even look in the mirror without berating myself (“You’re not smart enough, you don’t make enough money, you’ve let your appearance go, you’re too lazy to improve yourself.”). No wonder I left the house every morning with a cloud of negativity hanging over me! 

When the self-recriminations became overwhelming, I sought help from a friend who was a life coach, and she helped me understand that I was mistakenly measuring my self-worth by others’ accomplishments. Comparing myself to them was dangerous territory, and I had to learn to love my uniqueness by focusing on my strengths rather than the traits I considered negative. I also had to accept that there was no such thing as a perfect version of myself, and that if I wanted to be accepted, I needed to appreciate others’ differences. 

The life coach encouraged me to use daily affirmations, and over time, I began to believe the words I spoke to myself in the mirror. Switching from daily self-criticism to saying, “I am worthy of happiness. I deserve it and I have the power within me to make it happen” changed my thinking. All those perceived mistakes and failures disappeared once I found positive qualities to focus on, and now I’m free to embrace the happiness I deserve.

2. I’m Capable of Achieving My Goals and Appreciate Whatever Challenges Come My Way 

The famous quote from Christopher Robin in Winnie-the-Pooh — “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think” — has stuck with me ever since I read it years ago, painted on the wall at my gym. I love this quote for its truth: we struggle to believe we can achieve our life goals and fear failure in the face of adversity. However, you’ll never see the top of the mountain until you stumble over the rough terrain to get there. If you want something badly enough, it’s worth appreciating the challenges you face — but first, you must be resilient and believe you’re capable of achieving success. According to Dr. Marianna Pogosyan in Psychology Today, “Research suggests that when facing a challenge, low-efficacy individuals might self-reflect in negative ways (and I knew I couldn’t do this) or disengage, while high-efficacy individuals will have more confidence in their abilities to find solutions to their problems and thus be more resilient. A growth mindset (as opposed to a fixed mindset) promotes resilience and an acquirable view of skills, thus providing a better foundation for developing self-efficacy beliefs.” 

Remember, you have the power and freedom to create the life you want. Become a high-efficacy individual by manifesting positive thoughts about your capabilities each day and your goals will soon become reality. 

3. I Am Grateful for the Blessings in My Life 

This is my favorite affirmation because of its uplifting effect on my appreciation for others. Daily acknowledgment of my blessings creates an inner peace I wouldn’t have without gratitude for the life lessons I’ve been given — both good and bad. By affirming that I am grateful for everything I already have, I feel better about myself.

According to UCLA Health, “Research shows that practicing gratitude — 15 minutes a day, five days a week — for at least six weeks can enhance mental wellness and possibly promote a lasting change in perspective. Gratitude and its mental health benefits can also positively affect your physical health.” These benefits include reducing anxiety, depression and stress while supporting heart health and improving your sleep.  

Once you thank the universe for your blessings, you’ll find that gratitude goes a long way toward shifting your focus from negative thoughts to what brings you joy. Begin each day by reprogramming your subconscious with these affirmations and soon you’ll reap the benefits of a positive mindset — the self-confidence and peaceful harmony you’ve been searching for all along.   

Marcia Kester Doyle is a Yahoo Life columnist and the author of “Who Stole My Spandex? Life In The Hot Flash Lane.” Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, The Independent, Stylist, USA Today/Reviewed, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, AARP, Woman’s Day, Country Living, House Beautiful and many others. You can find her at marciakesterdoyle.com.